A Christmas Puppy
by MeganKoumori
Summary: The toys venture downstairs to see Andy's new dog. Will he be a vicious toy eater, a raging beast, or something completely unexpected?
1. Chapter 1

1: Christmas 1995

* * *

From the desktop, Hamm stared out the bedroom window to the yard below. Even though it had finally stopped snowing about an hour ago, the entire street was blanketed in white. Three humans, bundled in snowsuits, made their way to the family van. Even from the second floor, Andy could be heard laughing and shrieking as he scooped up handfuls of snow to toss in the air.

As the Davis trio piled into the minivan and pulled into the street, Hamm waddled to the desk edge. "They're gone!" he called to the toys on the floor. "Over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house they go!"

Woody had been sitting by the bed but now he stood up. "If it's anything like the last two Christmases, they probably won't come back until this evening." He turned to Buzz beside him. "I guess…we might as well get this over with."

Buzz looked unsure. "Do you think it's safe?"

"Of course not! But we don't really have much of a choice, do we? Besides," he stuck his fingers in his belt loops and shrugged. "I wanna see for myself what we're dealing with."

Rex stood with the other toys. Holding his claws together tightly, he whimpered, "You mean the new dog right?"

"No Einstein-asaurus! He means Andy's new box of a hundred and twenty crayons!" Potato Head snapped.

Buzz ignored Potato Head. "Sarge and the rest of troops saw it. He said it was a big dog."

"Any dog looks like a big dog to Sarge," Bo said. "Andy said over the monitor it was a puppy."

"Yeah but what kind? There's a huge difference between a Chihuahua and a, I don't know, Neapolitan mastiff or something." The toys stared at Woody blankly. "You know, a Neapolitan mastiff? They're big and black and drooly and they weigh like three hundred pounds?"

"Somehow I don't think there's a Neapolitan mastiff under our tree right now," said Bo.

Rex let out a shriek. "What if it's a pit bull like Scud?"

"Scud was a bull terrier."

"I don't care what Scud was!" said Woody. "We're not dealing with Scud! At least," he added under his breath. "I hope we're not."

Buzz stepped forward. "Woody's right. We need to face this problem head on. So," he looked around. "Who's coming with us?"

Silence. After a moment, Bo stepped forward. "I'll go."

"Very funny. Anyone else?"

Bo narrowed her eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Woody opened his mouth to speak, but seeing the look on Bo's face he swallowed his words. Instead, he took her gently by the arm and moved away from the other toys. "Look, we don't know what we're dealing with yet and…I just think you'd be safer up here."

"I wouldn't be in any more danger than you or Buzz."

"I just don't want anything to happen to you."

"Nothing _will_ happen to me. I'm going with you."

"But…"

"Don't 'but' me!"

" _Ooooh!"_ came the chorus from Andy's other toys, who had snuck up behind them. Woody jumped, embarrassed. He turned back but Bo was already walking toward the door.

"Well," said Potato Head. "If the Princess can handle it, I certainly can."

"Me too," said Hamm.

"Count me in!"

"Wait for me!"

Woody and Buzz watched as Andy's toys hustled to the door. Buzz coughed. "She really doesn't like being told what to do, huh?"

"Who asked you?" Woody grouched. Still he stared after Bo as she disappeared out the bedroom door, anxiety creasing his features.

"Woody, are you coming?"

"Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I'm right behind you."

* * *

As the toys walked down the stairs, Slinky could be heard saying to Rex, "Lady was a true class act, but Perdita had style too."

"I like Goofy," said Rex. "Goofy's funny…"

"Who wants to hear some fascinating canine trivia?" Hamm suddenly called out. There were groans but he went on, "It's a well-known fact that dogs were first domesticated by cavemen tens of thousands of years ago but did you know that a dog's bite can exert up to two hundred pounds of pressure per square inch…" Rex screamed.

Buzz rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Hamm, please!"

Woody began to lag behind. Bo was beside him and he tried to give her a smile. "Hey." She didn't answer, and he sighed, running his hand under his hat. "Look, I'm…I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be a jerk, all right?" She looked at him. "It's just that, I know what it's like to be around an aggressive dog. Scud tried to chew me to bits and if anything happened to you…"

They stopped walking and she turned to face him. "But you said it yourself. We're not dealing with Scud."

"Well I've been wrong before." Without thinking he touched his arm. He had never told anyone about how loose the stitches were after Scud had tried to rip him from the moving van, but he supposed it didn't matter…

Bo placed her hand on his, breaking him out of his thoughts. "You are sweet," she said. "But I'm fine. How bad can one puppy be?"

"Hey Sheriff!" The two looked down the stairs where their fellow playthings were already standing by the living room door. Potato Head was looking at them scornfully. "Haven't you already had enough kissy face for one day? Get your butts down here!"

Woody turned five shades of red and tried to hide under his hat. "That jerk!" he said through gritted teeth.

"Don't pay him any mind," said Bo. "Let's just go take a look at that dog."


	2. Chapter 2

2:

* * *

The living room door had been left open and a baby gate wedged into the frame. Rex began to quake. "We're doomed!" he shrieked. "Mom put a gate up! The dog must be a destructive menace if she wants to keep it confined!"

"I'm not sure why she'd bother then," said Hamm. "It's not like gates stopped King Kong. Or the dinosaurs in 'Jurassic Park.'" Rex began to shriek louder and flail.

Woody just looked annoyed. "Will you all chill out? It's just a baby gate! Look see, they're easy to climb over!" He stuck the toes of his boots in the diamond patterned mesh and began to pull himself up. At the top he swung himself up on the wooden beam, straddling it like a horse.

"Do you see anything?"

Peering into the living room, he called back, "No…Wait, there's something behind the tree I think."

Suddenly Buzz was on the beam right next to him. "I see it!" From out behind the Christmas tree shot a box wrapped in red paper. From their vantage point, the two toys could see half a dog sticking out, the bottom half. "There it is."

"Great, we've seen the dog. Let's skedaddle," said Potato Head.

"Not so fast," Buzz said. Standing up on the bar, he surveyed the ground below then took a leap.

"Buzz! What are you doing?"

"We'll never learn anything just by watching from afar."

"Really? I've seen enough nature documentaries that say otherwise."

"Just get down here!"

Woody rolled his eyes and jumped. But unlike Buzz, who had landed gracefully on his feet, the Cowboy fell square on his face. "Oof!"

Standing over him, Buzz yanked him to his feet. "Are you okay?"

Woody pulled his arm away and straightened his hat. "Just fine and dandy, Captain Kirk."

Buzz looked a little startled, then he grinned embarrassed. "Me, Captain Kirk? I…I wouldn't say I'm Captain Kirk…Do you really think…"

"Hey!" They turned. Potato Head was gripping the baby gate mesh and looking irritated. "Will you two morons stop goofing around? We're supposed to have a Christmas party later, remember? You're wasting time!"

"Right," Buzz nodded, all business again. "Let's go."

Slowly, cautiously, the two began to approach the dog, who still had its head and front stuck in the box. "Hello?" Woody called softly. No response, so he tried a little louder. "Hello, Doggy?"

"Hey there, Boy," Buzz tried.

"How do you know it's a boy?"

"How do you know it's not?"

Suddenly the dog pulled its head from the empty package and both toys froze. Turning, the animal finally looked them right in the eyes. "Uh…hi?"

Suddenly it was charging…right at Woody.

The Cowboy screamed. The next thing he knew he was on the ground and the beast was standing over him. Mouth open, teeth glistening, tongue licking…Wait, what?

Woody opened his eyes. Not only was he not dead, he was very, very slobbery. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Bo's shoes running towards him. Slinky's spring could be heard jangling behind her.

"Are you okay?" he heard her say.

Finally, the Cowboy managed to open his mouth to speak. _"YEECH! GET IT OFF ME!"_

"What do you know?" said Bo as it continue to lick Woody. "It _is_ just a puppy."

Woody pushed the dog's snout away. "Big dog my eye…I'm gonna kill Sarge…" He reached for his hat and tried to scoot away but two paws came down and pinned him. The licking commenced. _"Stop it! Buzz make it stop!"_

"What do you want me to do?"

" _I don't care just help me out!"_

By now the other three toys had climbed over the baby gate and were watching. "I can't believe nobody brought a camera," said Hamm.

Finally, Buzz gently pulled the puppy back so Woody could stand up. He wiped his face on his sleeves. "Ugh, I smell like dog!"

Lips parted into a smile, the puppy looked around at the toys. "He doesn't _look_ like a canine force of chaos and devastation," said Rex timidly.

"Well looks can be deceiving, Lizard Boy," said Hamm. "Remember the time that Gund Bear thought Potato Head _looked_ intelligent?"

"Hey!"

"Enough," said Bo. Slowly, she walked toward the puppy, fingers outstretched. Woody visibly tensed. As she held her fingers out, the puppy leaned forward and gave them a sniff. Then it sat back on its haunches, lips parted again.

As it did, Woody felt as though he could suddenly breathe again. "I think we're safe, Guys." Suddenly the dog bounded forward, knocking Woody's hat off as it began to cover his face in doggy kisses. "Not again!"

"I think he likes you."

"Well I don't like being licked! And again, how do you even know it's a 'he'?" The dog pulled away and happily yipped.

"He says he's a boy," said Slinky matter-of-factly. Every other toy swiveled their head in shock. "What?"

"You can understand it…him? You speak dog?"

"I _am_ a dog," he answered dryly.

"Yeah, but you never told us that…" The puppy was trying to get in Woody's face again and the Cowboy pushed him away. "You can talk to _real_ dogs."

"Ain't had much of the opportunity to do it, but I suppose now with this little fellah in the house…" The puppy suddenly grabbed Woody's hat and sped across the room.

"Hey! Bring that back!"

As the Cowboy gave chase, Rex smiled. "You know, if you can talk to dogs, maybe we can answer some of life's greatest mysteries!"

"Like?"

"What do dogs dream about?"

" _That's_ your first question?" said Hamm scornfully.

" _I_ coulda told you what we dream about," said Slinky with a roll of his eyes.

Woody had finally pried his hat from the Puppy's mouth and started to make his way back to the group. Behind him, the Puppy followed, yipping again.

"He's thinks you're his Master."

Woody stopped in his tracks. "What? Me?" He turned to the panting, happy dog. "Oh no! No! Not me! Andy! Andy's your Master!"

"Uh huh," Slinky listened to the Puppy bark a few times. "Uh huh. He says he likes 'the boy', but you're his Master."

"I am not! I'm a toy! Toys don't have pets!" Bo coughed. "Let me rephrase that. Toys don't _adopt_ pets! Not real ones! Slink, tell him!"

"Sorry Woody, but sometimes a dog just knows."

Buzz smiled mischievously. "Well congratulations, Woody. Though I always pictured you more as a cat person."

"No!" Woody jammed his hat back on his head. "No dogs! No cats! No anything! Look we came down to see the new dog and we've seen him! Let's get back to the bedroom so we can have our party, okay! Quick, before he licks the paint off my face!"

The others nodded in agreement. One by one they followed Woody to the baby gate and climbed over to the other side. Bo was the last one down and Woody reached up to keep her steady. "Watch your step."

"Thank you." As her feet touched the ground, she smiled and took his hand. From the opposite side, the puppy watched them.

"Well," Woody said with a tip of his hat. "So long, Dog." He and Bo started to walk towards the steps…

And were immediately stopped by the sound of pitiful whining.

"He says he don't want you to go," said Slink from where he stood on the stairs.

Bo turned back and looked at the puppy. He had stuck his nose through the baby gate mesh and was staring at them with large, sad eyes. "Oh, poor thing…"

"That's just what he wants you to think," Woody groused.

Still Bo tugged on his vest. "Go talk to him."

"Talk to him?" Woody echoed. "He's a dog! What am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know, but he likes you! You should at least try!" She gave the Cowboy a push back toward the gate. "Be nice!"

Woody looked at the puppy, who gazed at him with his big, yellow eyes "L-look, I don't know anything about dogs, except that they eat toys…You don't seem to be that kind of dog though…" Slowly, the puppy's tail began to thump back and forth. "I gotta go back upstairs, understand? Upstairs is where I belong! With my friends!" He took a step backward. "So, goodbye." He turned.

And that's when the puppy began to howl. Woody cringed and turned back around. "Stop! Stop it!" The dog stopped crying and looked expectantly at him. "Look, I can't stay down here! It's Christmas! Understand? I wanna be with my friends!" The puppy blinked. "My friends? We're having a party! And I wanna be there! I mean, come on! No one should be alone on Christmas!"

* * *

And that is how Sheriff Woody Pride found himself in the living room, surrounded by all of Andy's toys, reading 'A Christmas Carol.'

"Nice job moving the party downstairs," said Hamm.

Next to Woody, Andy's new puppy had placed his head on his shoulder. Bo was sitting on the Sheriff's other side and she smiled. "You've been adopted."

"Yeah, yeah," Woody grumbled into the book. "This is only temporary."

The puppy barked happily. Bo just laughed and placed her head on Woody's other shoulder. "Merry Christmas, Woody."


End file.
